I am Mak Nor

Asalamualaikum dear readers,

How do you do! Hope you are all doing fine blessed by our Al Mighty Allah.

Its been a long time!. I can see the dust all over this blog!.

owh dear! wipe! wipe! wipe! owh dear! sweep! sweep! sweep!

owh dear! span! span! span!

Oh..okay, It looks better now!.

Any way, Do you miss me?

Oh.. I am all blushed!. Thank you! and I miss you too!

Been busy with my Malay blog lately. But kind of miss you here,  so here I am.

Do you know that when it is a matter of a little bit personal, I choose to pour my heart here!. Its been a habit I suppose.

I like to share my feeling about something that bothers me. not that I need help nor did I need advice but indeed I definitely  need to borrow some ears here.

But if you care to drop some advices or some comments I am very much grateful.

Two days ago, which was on the night of eidul Adhar, We held a small ceremony for my son’s engagement. It is my husband’s choice. As I did not see any doubt and fault, I agreed from the bottom of my heart. . The girl seems like a nice girl. And my father likes her family too. He knew the whole family starting from her  great grandfather!. So  on the fixed date and time we went to the girl’s house with some gifts to accompany the royal ring.

We came rather late though, with  the hustle and bustle moms tending their kids and crying babies, they should understand I guess. Any way we did apologized and were accepted!.

The ceremony begins with a  warm ‘wellcome’ and after that I know nothing about any thing because I was busy tending and consoling my grandson who is crying. He saw that every body love his brother and he don’t want to lose his brother!.

Hearty feast was given at the end of the ceremony.It was here that I was told what had happened. There was an old man who wants to know how much dowry we are giving. My husband would never never tell. It cause some heated argument too because the old man force my reluctant husband. but no no no we will never tell!. 

Does it matters much that you have to know other people’s affair.Or is a dowry represent personality?  And also I would like to know the perception of the community around me about this so call ’dowry’  as the girl is from my neighborhood. As a matter of fact my husband and I had discussed this matter with her family. Actually I am impressed but also rather ashamed,when her grandmother turned red in respond to my husband’s question - [what amount of dowry do you prefer?]  and she said [’We are not selling our girl here! we will take what ever you give gratefully!’] And so the story ends.

Back home  I told my son to give an amount sufficient enough for the family to hold a humble wedding feast. That is according to the value of money now a days. And we are not telling any body even my own siblings!.

Sorry to say that I do not understand why it is so important for the village folks to know how much dowry will be given!. but I understand that our Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, said that the least dowry the better. I hold fast onto that!.

This tradition of acknowleadging  the dowry to the whole guest is a disgusting practice and should be thrown  away out of the window once and for all  because it cause  many nagative  out come.

Among others, comparing ‘whose dowry is the biggest’ is a very bad habit and we knew that our Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him does not favour that.

It will also be a matter of cause  to delay a man from proposing to the desired girl and the girl who received a small dowry will felt humiliated and the worse part is, it will develop an enthusiasm of money! money! money! nothing more but money!.  and the choice of groom will be base on ‘ the bigger dowry the better!’

We have to change our attitude before it is too late and before our girls become old maids

Forgive me for my bad reputation here, I am not usually this rude actually. may be I got carried away.

I beg your pardon!.

Wassalam